I FINALLY GET IT

I never grew up around babies. I was the youngest of all my cousins and I didn't have true siblings. I think I baby sat once or twice and always for young kids not ever babies.

When word got around that I was pregnant I was constantly surprised by how excited people were about it; especially, people I barely knew/interacted with daily. The people I worked with would not take no for an answer on the baby shower thing, people wanted to buy me things for the baby.

I have seen perfectly reasonable people turn into babbling idiots at the mere sight of a baby.

If you watch people in stores, if someone walks by with a baby- people will actually stop and stare at the baby with dumb looks on their faces (kinda like the look of adoration you get from your dog).

I never understood this. I always just assumed that I just wasn't wired like that. But now?

Now, I have realized.... I finally get it.

Not long ago, I found out a close friend is expecting. I was so freaking excited, I tripped on the dog and nearly landed on my face in my mad rush to tell the husband.

That night I couldn't even sleep- I am all planning things out in my head, baby shower, booking flights, she might be able to wear my maternity clothes because the calender lines up almost perfectly, then I am thinking about all the gender-neutral stuff our baby has already grown out of, then I am thinking about how they need to start a 529 for college....

Stop.

Seriously. I realized, I am crazy. Baby crazy that is.

I wasn't even this excited when I found out that I was pregnant.

But, now... Now I finally get it.

SNOW DAY

There have been plenty of times in my life that 4 inches of snow would have been a mere inconvenience and may or may not even made my radar.

But that's been a while. Now, I'm like the rest of my fellow North Carolinians (at least in this part of the state) who do not own a snow shovel. I have a scraper only because it got buried in my trunk years ago and when I lived in PHX and in L.A. I just never bothered to get rid of it.

I also don't own a legitimate winter coat. I own "winter jackets", they are cute and add an additional layer. If I was outside more than 20 min in real winter weather, I would freeze to death.

The lack of a true winter is exactly one of the reasons we moved here.

That being said, the fallout from the 4 inches of snow Friday night continues to be amusing to me. It stopped snowing well before noon on Saturday. Sunday afternoon, I went out in the 4wd SUV.

There's a slight chance I could get my mustang out of the driveway. There's NO CHANCE what so ever that I could get out of the subdivision. The surface streets in Raleigh are still covered in snow, the only thing remotely clean are the interstates and some of the major roads are cleared, but nothing beyond that.

I think there's like 2 plows in all of Wake County and those poor guys have been out since Friday and they have barely made a dent.

Hwy 98 is the main route between Wake Forest & Durham, this is how I get to work and thousands of other people. Its obviously never seen a plow, it is treacherous at best.

So all the school and most of the businesses are closed for the day, including my work & the baby's daycare- however, not the husband's. He actually had to brave the roads this morning. The only reason he made it alive is because the Escape has 4wd.

So 3 days after the snow falls we get a snow day. That's something. Right on. I have no idea how the hell I am going to get to work tomorrow, assuming the plant re-opens... I'll worry about that then I guess.

In the meantime, I'll just be enjoying my snow day.

NOT NEWS

As I starting to get more into the swing of things these days I am starting to remember how much the news pisses me off.

It is common for me at multiple times of the day to stop and take a couple of minutes to peruse the headlines to see what is going on in the world.

When and how often I do this all depends on the flow and craziness of my day and when the extra few minutes come to me. It gives me a minute to escape from the task at hand, decompressed from whatever meeting or discussion I have just had, or to distract me while having my morning start up coffee and sometimes when I end up eating my lunch in front of the computer.

But, it's not really fucking news anymore. Not in the purist sense of the word anyway. Its fucking opinion.

If I wanted to know what random people thought about Obama's tie, the Mass. Special Election, or the stimulus package, etc. I would walk out into the fucking street and start asking random people... But you know what? I don't. Why? Cause its not fucking news.

Not fucking news is the majority of news.

Mel Gibson on Tiger: "I feel bad for the guy" - Oh good. The bigot has sympathy for the sex addict.. good deal. Glad I know that, that's important to my fucking life...

I don't need someone to take a far fetched possibility and fucking run with it for entertainment.. Can the additives in your sports drink cause your daughters to be abstinence-avoiding sluts and your sons to sprout DD breasts?

STFU.

Every story has a comment section or some poll associated with it. I guess being anonymous is empowering to people to voice their opinion whether or not it is based on sound judgement or regurgitated bullshit..

I am thinking I might do another 30-day experiment related to this. I did a 30-day boycott of the TV a year or so ago.. it was a pretty positive experience.

I think maybe I might do a month long boycott of the news. TV news, Internet news, anything related to what is considered news... I guess even the Daily Show and Colbert would be included. I am thinking it will end up being easier said than done.

Instead I might actually read opinions.. opinions that are actually stated as opinions, not trying to pass themselves off as news.. i.e. blogs.

I did that whole call it what it is idea..

HIGHEST LEVEL OF REINCARNATION = HOUSECAT

Cats are way smarter than the rest of us.

Here's proof:



I am running my ass off around the house and she's passed out in front of a warm fire.

Well played kitty.

GETTING THERE

Tuesday was my first day back. I think I was in my chair that day for all of 10 minutes.


It's nice to be back. It was like getting dropped into a high speed stream and swept away, which is not a bad thing at all. As a matter of fact, it's just what I need.


Back to work and back in the gym, I am starting to feel like my old self again. I feel her inside trying to claw her way back out.. good to know she is still there.


The big reorg at work continues and it seems my old boss has gotten completely shafted... and the best part? I have a front row seat for the pain.. it's like my wildest dreams come true.


Only two things have really surprised me this past week:


One is that more than one person has actually said they were surprised that I came back (as in they thought I would decide to stay home with the baby).


Really?


The second, is that people will actually stop me in the hall, when I am obviously on my way somewhere (hands full) and ask me to see pictures of the baby. When I tell them I don't have any on me and to just swing by my desk sometime, they look at me like I just grew a horn.


Is that weird?


Shit. I am usually carrying a notebook, calculator, tape measure, pen, stack of various papers/drawings/etc and a cup of coffee or bottle of water. I don't carry a bag or even my cell phone around the plant, why the fuck would I be carrying pictures at any given time? Like I need an added level of difficulty. I don't get it... and besides, that's just not my style.


I am still getting a handle on the zillion things going on just around the house- I am always afraid I am going to forget something important. Like the baby.


Once this week, I managed to get everything and everybody out the door on time- except I realized later the dogs got shoved outside without being fed. Ooopps. FAIL. Oh well. I figure at least the baby was fed, the husband can fend for himself.


Whatever. Still getting a handle on this whole mom/wife/runner/engineer thing I am not rocking.... I'll get there.

TIME IS UP

My maternity leave has now expired, I go back to work on Tuesday.

I can't believe how fast the time has passed or how much the baby has grown in such a short amount of time.

He started daycare last week and that seems to be going really well, he loves it. Lets home my return to professional life is as seamless.

I miss the people I work with and the challenges of various projects. I miss the daily routine.

Once I get back into the swing of things, I will have officially arrived at the new "normal" in my life. This is what we've been moving towards basically since the day I found out I was pregnant last March. What a adventure.

HAND THAT MAN A MIC...

I admit it.

I LOVE Rod Blagojevich! LOVE HIM. I love him for the pure entertainment of it all.

He's a complete idiot who says the most outrageous shit without even batting an eye. I don't think he even realizes the bullshit that flies out of his mouth. He obviously isn't smart enough to shut the fuck up, because every time someone hands him a mic, he outdoes himself.

Every single time.

Here's the latest & greatest:

Blagojevich Says He's 'Blacker Than Barack Obama'

BUCKET LIST

This morning I got an email about a friend in Phoenix who died of heart failure.

He was only 50.

He left behind his wife. My heart just aches for her. They were undoubtedly each other's best friends and soul mates.

He was a genuinely nice guy. He cooked for a living and cooked for fun. He loved it. I remember telling him once I never cared for steak, he was outraged and insisted it was because I had just never had a good one prepared correctly and that we absolutely had to come over for dinner that next weekend so he could cook me a steak.

Turns out, he was right. It was and still remains to date, the best steak I have ever had.

He was always smiling. Always had a joke for you. He wanted nothing more than to spend time with his family, cook, and watch the Cornhuskers, Diamondbacks, Cardinals, and Coyotes. He was the only absolute die-hard Cardinals (football) fan I have ever met.

Fifty years old. That's not even old.

I have been feeling my mortality here lately. I suspect its a direct result of the baby's arrival. This mornings news has most definitely exacerbated it.

I think its time for me to start writing down my bucket list. I don't want to miss anything.

EXODUS of the SUPERMAJORITY

Yesterday's headline:

Chris Dodd Out as Democratic Exodus Continues

Two are stepping down with two more on the way. 2+2=4.

The definition of exodus is: a going out; a departure or emigration, usually of a large number of people.

I don't typically consider FOUR people to be "a large number," but hey that's just me. Way to sensationalize ABC News... actually that should be geared toward the entire media as a whole, they all do that shit.

If you open up the article and actually read it, it also says: "Yes there are still more Republican retirements in Congress (when counting those running for other offices."

So, why isn't that an exodus? Or even a headline? I thought the media was supposed to be the LIBERAL MEDIA?

The "big story" here is that the Dems are looking at losing their SuperMajority. You know what I think about that? Fine. They deserve it. Because even with the "super majority" they haven't managed to accomplish anything fucking useful.

They stripped the healthcare bill down to nothing; both the Dems & Republicans are running around trying to appease the fucking lobbyists, no one gives a shit what is actually in the best interest of the little people (even the little people who are too stupid to think for themselves).

The Dems deserve to lose it. They have squandered it. You think that the Republicans would squander the opportunity of a Super Majority? Fuck no. We'd all be living in that space between Glenn Beck's ears.

Whatever. Dems blew it. As long as the Republicans don't get a super majority, I can cope.

In the meantime, the media is just going to keep sensationalizing and spinning anything and everything. Anyone ever wonder what happens when all this shit that is rolling down hill, actually hits bottom?

Hold on to your ass, bullshit is getting pretty deep ya'll.

CATCH UP

We finally got back from Ohio late Thursday evening.. damn it is nice to be home. It's wonderful to wake up in my own bed even if it is cold as shit down here.

What the hell is up with the weather ya'll? It feels like Ohio outside. Brr. At least the sun is shinning here as opposed to Ohio, where the gray rolls in sometime about mid-October and lingers through April.

My inlaws live in the sticks. Let me be clear here: they don't just live in the sticks, they live in the sticks of the fucking boondocks. Like they don't actually have a street address.. can't look it up on a map, cause there's no fucking address. I swear the only people who can get to and from that area are the people who are actually from it. As near as I can figure, the nearest Starbucks is a minimum of 45 minutes away.

So, the butt-sticks.... There is no Internet.

Okay, that's not entirely true... They have dial-up. It is so slow that while you are waiting for the initial opening of IE you are probably going to require a meal before you starve to death... Forget about opening email.

My grandparents live in Cleveland, but they have no Internet and none of the neighbors seem to be willing to share their wi-fi, booooooo! So that's a bust too.

Thank God my phone has access, but as great as it is, its mobile everything so it feels sometimes like using the kiddy size rounded scissors version of the Internet- I can do whatever I want as far as twitter, facebook, checking email, headlines, etc- but general surfing and blogging are such a pain in the ass, I generally don't bother.

I am finally unpacked and getting through the laundry. I spent today mostly catching up online.

Didn't miss much as far as news really.

I see that thanks to the underwear bomber we are all going to get our blankets revoke for the last flight hour and no one can now pee for that last hour either. Peachy. (Thank God, I am not pregnant anymore. I would end up at Gitmo fo' sho..)

Can't we just take of skivvies off and run them through the x-ray in the security line instead? (Probably just a matter of time, anyway.)

I have finally gotten the chance to catch up on the blogs I follow. Everyone's been posting about the end of 2009.. pretty amusing all.

I don't share the excitement about the new year or the nostalgia about the old that I am reading on everyone's sites. I am not anti-new year or anything, but it just really didn't stick on my radar this year like it has in the past. I didn't make any resolutions or lists of what I did/accomplished in 2009.. and I don't even know why. Its not like I thought about it and veto'd it. I just never really thought of it.

Oh well. Here's to 2010, I guess.