Someone Else's Vacation

What happens when Vegas gets crazy drunk and has unprotected sex with Branson on Spring Break?

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Bet you didn't know that.

Wow. Let me say that again. Wow.

So the husband and I spent this last weekend there. Not, by our own volition- let me make that clear. We went there to see good friends who live in Detroit who were there on an family vacation/reunion. I don't think it was their kinda place either.

We only went there to spend the weekend hanging out with then and basically that is what we did. I didn't see the need to do or touch anything that wasn't necessary. The whole time we were there it felt like some eerie body switch thing, like being stuck on someone else's vacation.

Step Three

So it's over. Finally over.

This is the first chance I have had to write about it. Once this past Monday hit and word of my resignation spread, it was like being launched into hyperspace.

Everything went really quickly; everything just ran together. I spent so much time trying to run around and get all the loose ends tied up, that it was Thursday afternoon and I was getting ready to hit the door for the last time before I even knew it.

They actually set up an exit interview. We realize you are not retiring or moving on, you are actually leaving the company all together. Yup. That's exactly what I am doing and as quickly as possible.

Too little too late.

I don't even care enough to burn my bridges, I just want the fuck out of here.

People kept asking me why I was leaving. My favorite were the people who would ask all quietly when no one was around like we were friends and I was actually going to tell them something juicy.

This is just not the right place for me. That's all I care enough to say. Now get the hell out of my way.

I finally hit the front door, I can still hear that glorious sound. The smell of freedom. A brief wave of nausea washed over me.

Then I headed to the bar.

It still hasn't set it. But it's over. I am done. I'm free. I never ever have to go back.

Breathe

Today was the best day I had at work at my job.

Sad, isn't it? The day my resignation becomes news at the facility and I no longer have bother with the thin facade hiding my true actual level of contempt.

For the first time in I don't know how long I felt like I could actually breathe again. A bit restrained yet, yes. But the first breath of fresh air none the less.

Woke up in Cali

Since moving to NC last year, I'd pretty much given up on the weather forecast. The weather monkeys seem to have absolutely no idea, so no matter the planning, I was always surprised and unequipped.

A few months back I just stopped checking the weather forecast completely. In my trunk, I keep a windbreaker, sweatshirt, hat, gloves, umbrella, windshield scraper, and a sun visor thingy for my windshield. I figure, I basically have it covered.

I expect each summer days to be some degree of what the husband calls "sac-searing hot," humid enough to make you feel poached by the early afternoon, and then at some point in the day there's a high probability that an isolated thunderstorm is going to roll through and it's going to rain sideways like hell for 30 minutes or so.

That's just the way it is, I generally just expect everyday to follow this general pattern and so far, I've been about right.

However, yesterday I walked on to the back porch and it was like I'd walked through a wormhole. Like I walked out of my house in NC and outside back in Cali. It was cool! Like low 80s cool, low humidity, and a nice breeze.

Completely caught me off guard. I was stunned. I was even able to walk the dogs yesterday afternoon without having a stroke.

Today is the same way. It's glorious. I've been living on the screened porch the last couple days. What a nice treat, and on a weekend too when I can actually enjoy it.

I am going to have to drag the husband out for tennis this afternoon. As for right now, I've got my book and I'm headed to the pool. This rocks.

I Remuthafuckin'sign.

I have been waiting for and dreaming of today for probably 9 or 10 months now.

Today was the day I turned in my letter of resignation (effective a week from today).

Fridays are an odd day at work; most of the facility does not work Friday and some people are hit or miss, it depends on what's going on.

My boss actually did not come in this morning. I knew she wouldn't she'd already told me. I'd told her I expected to turn in my resignation today. So when I dropped the signed letter in her office, I sent her a text message to tell her it was there. I am amused that I gave the notice of my resignation initially via text message. These times, they are a changin'...

It was very anticlimactic. Almost no one was there today, of the people I did talked to, I didn't tell anyone. To be honest, there's only about 5 people I like enough to tell. I am sure Monday the word will get out when my boss has to notify upper management, and that's fine.

I think it will feel more real then. I don't have the feeling of release I thought I would have (but I think I will Monday when it starts to get out). I am relieved a bit anyways, but only on the surface. My days have been numbered for a long time this didn't change a thing and it doesn't feel more official. But it will, I am sure. I still feel that place sapping out my lifeblood and slowly strangling my soul. Only 7 more days.

I am so fucking happy. I am halfway through the milestone plan:

1. Find a great job, accept offer. Check.
2. Fucking Quit (Resign). Check.
3. On my last day, walk out. Scratch that, RUN. Nevermore, muthafuckers, nevermore.
4. Start new job.

I think 3 is going to rock. I think knowing that I never ever have to set foot in there and deal that steaming pile will be the best thing in the world. I figure over time the dead part of my soul might resuscitate.

Security Theater

Today the TSA announced that it is repealing the lighter ban on airplanes.

Why are they repealing the ban?

"The United States previously had been the only nation in the world to prohibit lighters from carry-ons," the TSA wrote in a press release. "Lifting this ban is another step in our efforts to harmonize security measures with international partners."

Notice, not because it was fucking stupid (they never banned matches) or because it ended up generating approximatly 22,000 lighters a day that ended up costing tax payers about 4 million a year to dispose of them. Inspite of the fact, that ever the head TSA bozo referred to the ban as "security theater." They are going to try to save face and say it's to harmonize restrictions with the international community. Whatever makes you feel less retard TSA.

I suppose maybe the repeal of one ridiculous ban is a start. Lets repeal the liquids ban next.

I *HEART* ROOMBA

I keep meaning to blog about my new Roomba, but it wasn't until about half an hour ago until I really realized how much I love it.

I bought the thing for a pretty specific reason. I finally acknowledged the fact that I cannot keep up with the fur and debris in this house as well as I would like.

I just don't have the time or energy to sweep and vacuum the downstairs everyday, which is really what would be required to keep up. I didn't intend to never have to vacuum or sweep ever again, that wasn't my reason for buying it.

I bought it for one specific reason: so I don't have to see the tumbleweeds of fur lurking around on the hardwoods. That is basically it. The tumblefurballs are a byproduct of daily life with the heard in a house with wood floors.

That's exactly what it does and it is great.

I came home this evening, set Roomba loose while I fed/watered the animals, put the groceries away, did the prep work for dinner, and started the laundry, and poured myself a glass of wine.

And THAT is when I realized that I love it.

Now, while Roomba's finishing up, here I am sitting on the couch, drinking my wine, catching up with the other object of my affection (Tivo).

I. Love. It.

If you can't buy it, eliminate it.

Finally. A glimmer of sanity.

The Decider and some fellow Republicans have decided that if you can't buy the media to skew the news in your favor, then your only option is to eliminate funding for it.

Once again, they've tried to eliminate the funding for public broadcasting and thank all that is good that it failed.

You've got FoxNews, Clear Channel, and now the Wallstreet Journal on top of everything else you've managed to taint. Just leave us NPR and PBS.

No words

What the hell is wrong with people? It is yet again the same question: Are things worse now than they ever have been before or is that we tend to look back and see things skewed.


While I was in the gym today, they were talking about the guy in Florida who attacked a women, strangled her, left her for dead in a sugar cane field and then took her 5 year-old daughter out to Alligator Alley and left her to be eaten by alligators. The mother ended up surviving, the little girl was found dead with an arm torn off and her head crushed.


I cannot even imagine how terrified this poor child must have been. Attacking the mother and leaving her to die is heinous enough, but this? They just aren't words.

So is this kind of behavior more prevalent now? Or is it just that we are more connected to things going on now with the Internet and 24 hour news shows? This is the shit that makes me want to lock myself in a box.

Standing Up

It's no big secret that I do not grasp the rationale of the Decider. I don't think a 10-15% increase in personnel in Iraq constitutes a "surge," like I said, I think of it as more of a tip.

I don't get the lack of bench marks. I don't get the "I listen to my generals," sounded rational initially, but now the more generals that have come forward over the last couple of years and spoke about it, that seems not to be the case either.

The tide is beginning the change in the GOP even. Oh yes, and let me take this opportunity to say "FLIP-FLOPPERS!" (that is the correct 2004 term isn't it? For someone who initially supported the war based on incorrect information, who later looked around and went "Oh shit, this is bad.") But for the record, better late than never guys.

Well, last week the Iraqi Parliament announced that they were considering taking the entire month of August off due to the heat (this in spite of the dismal progress to date). Of course, their Parliament is modeled after our own lazy over-paid congress, so that I get. So okay, let them take August off. I think the US Forces also deserve August off too to escape the heat. I think that's fair. So pull everyone out of the country, from the soldiers to the cooks, to the contractors, everyone. Not a soul gets left behind. OK fine. What has the Bush Administration said about the possible break? "Understandable."

Now this brings me to my current point of contention. So, the Decider has said repeatedly, "When the Iraqis stand up, we'll stand down." Okay, sounds good. However, given that the Decider will not back the idea of benchmarks, how exactly can we determine the progress? What exactly constitutes "standing up" I wonder?

Iraqi Prime Minster Al Maliki said this week, "We say in full confidence that we are able, God willing, to take the responsibility completely in running the security file if the international forces withdraw at anytime they want,"

Well there you go! That's got to constitute "standing up" right?

So if they are willing to take control of their own country then what the FUCK are we doing there? There's no need for another single American to arrive stateside in a box. Not one more. It's time to go. NOW.

Preventative Maintenance

It's Saturday morning and I am sitting here with my coffee trying to figure out where this past week went. It absolutely flew by, in spite of the fact that I didn't accomplish anything.

Work was quiet this week. Everyone seemed preoccupied with whatever they were working on or lack of working on. Upper management was seemly kept busy trying to put out the shitstorm with Corporate over last week's safety incidents. It basically kept people off my phone and out of my cube this week and that's something.

I only have to act like I care through next Friday. It's more difficult than it seems, trust me.

Yesterday, I took a page from Katie's book and decided to treat myself to a manicure & pedicure. Ever since I read her post about the positive effect of the pedicure, I had been stuck on it.

I spent the afternoon yesterday having my hands and feet done. It was utter bliss. It's been a while and so I forgot how relaxing it is. Literally, I came home so relaxed I slept for like 3 hours and then spend the evening laying in bed with a book. I went down in flames around like 8pm. It was fantastic.

It was such a damn hassle in LA that I had forgotten how great it is. In LA, there's a lady working on your toes while someone else is working on your hands. You are out the door in maybe 40 minutes. Which is great, they do a fantastic job super fast, but I can't for the life of me understand them (I believe most of the ladies I saw were mostly Mandarin). Which after 25 minutes of constantly saying, "I am sorry, I don't understand" three or four times until I figured out what they were talking about- it just made me feel like a complete retard. So for the last couple years, minus a here and there, I've just been doing it myself (I cannot stand to not have my nails done).

Manicures & pedicures in Raleigh are much better. One lady, does your feet then your hands. They lady who worked on me, Cindy, was fantastic. I loved her, loved to chat with her. Everyone at the spa spoke English. And in Raleigh, it's typical for them to have a glass of wine for you while you are getting your hair or nails done. Super relaxing. I almost couldn't drive myself home.

I am going to have to start going to see Cindy once a month or so, I am going to have to just rack it up to preventative maintenance. I should have been doing this all along. It's so hard for me to completely relax any way. And with the seething contempt I have for my job, this was money well spent. Too bad I didn't figure this out months ago.

A Better Way to Fly

I think this guy is on to something.

I bet this beats the crap out of the commercial airlines; I think I would much rather give this a spin than to resign myself to the whims of the TSA & airlines. There's even more leg room. Sign me up.

iFlaws

With all the buzz around the ipod (which, yes, admittedly is damn cool) I can't believe that this got missed:

"The iPhone battery will only survive about 300-400 recharges, the company says. Because the unit is sealed, consumers can't swap out dead batteries. Instead, dead phones must be sent to Apple, where battery replacement will take three business days and cost $79 plus a $6.95 shipping charge. Those who can't live without their cell phones for those three days can rent a spare iPhone for $29."

You can't even change the battery! You have to give up the entire unit for 3 business days, on top of the new batter fee you have to pay a shipping charge and either go without a phone for that time, or pay to rent another phone!

And if your phone dies within the first 2 years and you choose not to replace it- you still have to pay the AT&T subscription fee. I am unclear if you can transfer that fee to another AT&T phone tho.

You can't even change the battery! You have to give up the entire unit for 3 business days, on top of the new batter fee you have to pay a shipping charge and either go without a phone for that time, or pay to rent another phone!

The phone is pretty cool; but this on top of all other complaints/shortcomings on this phone puts it way off my list. I have other things I would prefer to piss away my money on so I think I will pass.

The new FDA approved diet pill

Okay, so I may have had a fairly unpleasant occurance of not being able to fit in my pants the other day, but I am addressing it head on. I realize I've got some changes to make and I am doing it. I am not looking for an easy out, I am looking at this head on.

I do also realize that an easy out is very tempting -especially when it comes to weight loss. Everyone wants a pill, or a magic shake, or the all deep-fried diet, anything that doesn't require them to start making healthy decisions, changing your lifestyle, and increaseing your exercise. It's sort of an all or nothing thing, or it doesn't happen and it doesn't last.

Enter the new FDA-approved weight loss pill, Alli.

I hadn't even heard of this until I was watching the Colbert Report last week and he was talking about it and the side effects:

gas with oily spotting
loose stools
more frequent stools that may be hard to control

and my personal favorite recommendations:

"it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work"

and

"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens"

Wow. Oh wow. These are general side effects and also occurrences that are a direct result on not sticking to the low fat diet plan. I can't imagine doing this to myself. Imagine "gas with oily spotting" in a meeting!

Here's a couple of recent from the manufacturer's website:

“(I)’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and sorry to get descriptive but it even leaked onto the couch at one point!” writes one user.

It can strike any time — even in the early hours of the morning. One user writes: “(Y)a know how when you start moving around in the morning ya pass a little gas. Well, I did and then went into the bathroom and to my horror I had an orange river of grease running down my leg.”

Wow, so I gotta agree with the guy who said: “I can't think that a healthy lifestyle requires carrying a spare pair of underpants.”

Again wow.

So more power to all of us who are looking to lose a few pounds and to anyone willing to take this on, have at it.

I however, and going to the gym.

The Pants Incident

Okay, this shit has got to stop. Seriously.

I am ashamed to admit it, but last night prior to meeting some friends out in the evening I believe I got the wake up call I needed. I could not get into my jeans.

Okay, I could get them on, but it I wore then for any period of time I am pretty sure I would have passed out. Or had a pants failure. Neither option appeals to me.

This is, of course, all my fault. My diet has basically sucked for the last couple months and I think when summer arrived I thought I would just magically lose weight. Alas, that was not to be.

My trip home last week really added insult to injury. I ate everything that couldn't run from me and even a couple of things that put up a slight fight. I swam in Schlafly beer. I love it, I can't get it here, and I drank it at ever possible opportunity.

While I was there, it hit me. I am only 3 months from my 40 mile walk for Breast Cancer in October and I am not anywhere near the shape I need to be in and I am running out of time. I knew when I got back home this week I was going to have to start making some seriously changes. Then there was yesterday's pants incident and that really drove the point home.

No more excuses.

I have drastically changes my diet for the last few days and have been in the gym in addition to my normal dog walking duties. It's only been a few days, but it's a start.

One of those moments

It's not like my generation isn't used to technology, we've been growing up with it our whole lives. But you know, everyone once in a while I have one of those "damn, technology is a beautiful thing" moments.

I had one this afternoon while I was sitting at the dealership waiting to get my oil changed and I bought a Roomba on-line.

Damn that was great.

Return Trippin

Thank God my trip back home wasn't anywhere near as horrible as my trip out. I had no issues at all and I pretty much slept the entire trip back. It was actually pretty painless.

Lucky me. I saw all the people on the news this evening stranded or delayed in airports all across the country. I feel bad for each and every one of them.

Getting into work today was a trip. I rolled in about 1pm, the place was empty. There was hardly a soul there. Apparently, most everyone is out the rest of the week. Excellent.

Tomorrow is going to be nice and peaceful, this is a very good thing. I am going to need a couple of days to muster the energy to give the mere appearance that I give a shit.

Keepin' It Real

This is my last day of vacation and I am guessing that is what causing my complete lack of motivation. I have managed to eat some leftovers for breakfast and spend the entire morning surfing the blogosphere.

It's the Fourth of July and although I have no idea what I am going to get into today, I know it's going to be something and there's going to be beer involved.

I am a big fan of the 4th. Gotta love a holiday the celebrates (in theory anyways) freedom, liberty, free speech, etc.

And what what a nice way to kick off a celebration of our country than for the Decider to exercise his right to show complete disregard for the law, the justice system, and any kind of executive responsibility. I also particularly like his soap opera cliff-hanger approach as to granting a pardon. Wow. I know if he does pardon Libby I will as absolutely shocked as when he commuted his sentence. Gotta love the suspense, keeps the 24 hour news channels tuned in.

I never seem to find the time to blog surf, but this morning it seemed like the perfect fit. I enjoyed it. I also realized that my attention span is getting shorter by the day.

Everyone's talking about the 4th of July, Politics, and the iPhone (that thing has a 55% markup, damn!). I also checked in on some old blogs that I haven't been keeping track of here lately, getting all caught up. I read some great posts and comments too.

Oh yeah and a Shout Out to "No Name" for keeping it real, yo.

Upholding the Status Quo

So Bush finally got around to commuting Libby's sentence. I wonder what took him so long? The entire world has been expecting it, so why keep us all waiting?

It's a good thing, I would hate to see Bush actually do something to uphold the laws of this country. That might set a precedent.

Go Cardinals!

Samplers at Augusta Brewing Company

The weather monkeys had predicted warm and sunny for our float trip yesterday, so I should have known. It was overcast and about 70 all day. It rained on and off all afternoon. Not hard, just drizzle.

The float was great in spite of the weather. Cooler full of beer and a bag full of junk food, what could be better?

Of course, it had to be a big ordeal getting on the river and getting off the river. The being on the river part was great.

Every person I dealt with booking this made me feel like I was the victim of a blood letting. Cripe. Everyone said something different, anything I asked about had to be a 10 minute incoherent explanation of why not. Yes or No generally works fine for me.

We ended up getting done almost an hour and a half early since the river was so high. There must have been 20 people stuck at the pickup point waiting for these fuckwits to come get us all. They knew the water was high and that floats weren't taking the normal duration, but it seems no one made the connection. When the guy finally got down there, it took I swear 45 minutes to load the people and the gear. It was truly maddening.

Lesson learned. We went to this place on a recommendation- never again. I typically always used to float out of Cuba- they would bus you to the start and then you'd float back, that seemed to work better and it never seemed so painful in dealing with the staff. Next time we will drive the extra 2o minutes.

And as far as lesson's not learned. I woke up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night Sat night apparently and said, "Shit, you can't buy beer in Missouri on Sunday mornings!" to the husband and then promptly passed back out. And I was right, they did roll back the early purchase time in St. Louis but the farther south you go the later the early purchase time is.

So it took us about 2 hours and 4 stops to find somewhere that would sell us beer. Always on ordeal.

Floating the Meramec

Floating

It's 7:35 am on a vacation Sunday. Why the fuck am I up and moving?? Today we go floating. This is going to be good, I am sure.