Trick or Treat

I am not sure what is more obnoxious.

Putting up your Halloween decorations on Sept 12.

Or

Dressing up your dog in a Halloween costume.

I have opted for the latter.


Annie's a monster this year. She hates it... Rob hates it...

I LOVE IT. She's so damn cute.

Suck

What a complete buzz kill today was.

This weekend and through Monday, Katie was here to visit. We basically spent the weekend drinking beer and eating buffalo shrimp. It was great.

Katie flew back to the Lou this morning and I actually remember walking into work thinking how much better I felt and how that little break had really helped.

1st off, I found out that you can't even trap bats in North Carolina. Apparently, they don't want anyone to do anything that might hurt them and since it's so hard to the tell the protected ones from the other ones, there's no actual trapping for any of them. Apparently, what you can do is install bat trap doors in areas they are in. A door that allows them to get out, but not back in.

Bat Trap Door Installer

That doesn't sound like any fun. There goes my Plan B.

My continued shitstorm of a project went to crap when the first draft of the next try hit my inbox at 8:07am.

By 11:30am, I couldn't even talk. Too disgusted. I went to lunch and put a serious hurting on a pizza and pasta buffet. I NEVER do that, especially not for lunch. I believe I decided to make a conscious decision to eat myself sick so I would have a decent excuse to get out of the festering pool of shit the afternoon was already slated to be. Poor execution on my end, I was super full- but not physically ill.

By 3:30pm, I came to the conclusion that the testing protocol on my desk was actually the worst piece of shit I had ever seen and that I working with people who don't give even a baseline shit about document that they actually have to put their names on and never will. I am not even talking about caring that it's a good well-thought document with a detailed testing rational, procedure, and acceptance criteria. I am talking about giving enough a shit about it that it just on the surface it doesn't look like it was written by a cranked out helmet wearing retard.

By 5pm, I had exercised my option to not sign it so my boss got to.

On the drive home I realized that I have reached an impasse. I am going to have to get some Valium or something for daily use if I am going to continue working in this industry and at the same time every additional day I work in the industry makes me willing actually ingest the things even less.

Mind Boggling Stupidity

Wow. The stupidity of FEMA boggles the mind.

I have to congratulate FEMA in security the #1 position of this week's dumbest mother fuckers at the same week it proved me wrong- that the TSA was actually the stupidest, most incompetent, and inept government agency.

So these idiots staged a FAKE news conference to "get the word out" about the agencies response to the California Wildfires. The gave the press 15 minutes notice, so obviously none were able to attend. That however, did not stop them. They used FEMA employees to ask grapefruit questions about the agency's response and preparedness regarding the wildfires. They were nice enough to provide a call-in question line for the press who could not attend, but those who did call-in found out it was a listen-only arraignment.

Wow. Did they think no one would notice?

Maybe after the Katrina catastrofuck, they just assumed anything was a step up than before.

Chertoff called it "dumb" and said he would take the appropriate action against the personnel involved.

They already managed to fuck that up.

Each of the dumbasses responsible for this should have been fired on-site including Chertoff. He's ultimately responsible, hold him responsible. I don't get how you can expect anything if people don't start getting held responsible. What a fucking joke.

Of course, the American People's outrage on this was like a fart in the wind.
Where's Congress? Why are they screaming for blood? Shit man, they made the "General Betray Us" thing a damn national event and this?

Nada.

Bat Trapper

Jobs inherently suck, hence the whole concept of work. I get that. I also think there are also additional factors that add to and take away from the suckitude.

The same concept applies to the suckitude of your profession/career; in a profession/career there's more to it then a paycheck and roof over your head (that's the job part. You can have a job and not a career/profession). There's something to it that challenges you, or gives you a sense of accomplishment, a feeling on contribution a greater good, sense of personal fulfillment, etc.

I have recently realize I am coming closer and closer to be burned out on my career. It's not the job- leaving the previous place proved that. That place was its own ring of hell; the new place while not heaven of course, is much better for working conditions; but the profession is the same.

The demands are the same, the higher up the more responsibilities and less actual ability to control, and more bullshit. I used to get a sense of personal fulfillment completing challenging projects, but now as I have continued to progress, I realize that I am actually doing less. Less accomplishment, less challenge.

The people who thrive at this are the people who swim in and a weave bullshit. The challenge is the politics and the fulfillment comes from either not fucking doing anything or sitting in hours and hours of fucking meetings and making decision guaranteed to make shit harder for other people and are generally based on the whim de jour.

I fucking hate it.

I am so tired of always being the asshole, always being argued with. It's particularly hard to argue with people who don't give a shit about the federal code of regulations and think that we make this shit up. I am tired of having done this enough, at enough different places, on different projects to know exactly what path something is going, how to stop it or at least do some up front damage control, and knowing exactly where it is going to end up if nothing changes. Then you factor in, no one cares, and the big steaming fucking pile at the end of the tunnel is going to be yours to clean up.

Your pain, your paperwork, your long hours.

I need to figure out where I am going next. I'm approaching burned out and I need to start figuring out a Plan B. So far, I got nothing.

So. A Change.

Like everyone else I want a profession that sucks less. There's got to be something out there that I would like and possibly enjoy right? Regain that sense of personal fulfillment and challenge?

My adjacent cube neighbor, Tom, was telling me about his brother who lives out in Silar City and is a Nuisance Trapper. Apparently, that's the guy you call when there's a squirrel in your basement or a skunk hanging around your garage.

Makes his own hours. Seems like the bullshit factor there would be a lot less. Sounds like me makes a decent buck. Pretty entertaining; yesterday he got a call about a Gila Lizard (gotta wonder how the hell a Gila Lizard ended up at a garden nursery in rural North Carolina).

So I was talking to Tom about this. He said that about 90% of the animals he traps are killed or have to be put down afterwards and I want no part of that. He did say that however you can't kill bats in North Carolina because so many species are protected and they are almost impossible to tell apart, so they have to be trapped and released later. So I think maybe that might work. I wonder if Tom's brother could teach me.

Bat Trapper.

That's an option.

I'm taking recommendations.

Robbed

It's no big secret that I hate the fall. The reason that I hate the fall is because is signals the end of summer and onset of winter, and I really hate winter.

There are however, three things I do look forward to with the start of fall:

Drinking more red wine
Fall wardrobe change
The leaves changing colors

Last year was my first true fall in a lot of years and I was completely in love with the colors here in NC. It was absolutely beautiful. I could drive around and look at them forever. Particularly up here near the lake where we live, it was absolutely spectacular.

This year? Not so much.

Back to the lake. We live on the lake that is Raleigh's drinking water and anyone who lives up here and drives over it on a daily basis realizes every day their heart climbs higher into their throat.

The water is going down at an alarming rate. It's been going down since spring. The shoreline is out over 200 yards in some places, some of the coves are completely dried up, and another couple of feet and the boat docks are going to be resting in the mud at their farthest point.

I think it's rained about twice since April.

Last week, the leaves started showing the subtle signs of getting ready for change. This week, I realized that they skipped the whole color change thing and are just throwing themselves off the trees.

Too damn dry. They are just giving up and dying.

Sucks.

It better rain something serious soon or we are going to have bigger problems than a crappy fall.

Swearing At Work

Study Finds, Swearing At Work Good For Morale

Definitely knew this.

My theory on this has always been basic: Know you audience. I don't swear in front of people higher on the food chain than me and in front of anyone I think it may offend. But once someone walks into my cube and drops the Fbomb, its on.

Another benefit of swearing at work is that some in some situations, it is just not possible to adequately describe what is going on without profanity. In this case, it can be considered a analysis tool.

Nemesis

I have had this old bathroom scale for quite a while now, so long in fact, that I don't actually remember when I bought it. I know I had it well before I moved to California, but I have no idea whether I bought it when I lived in Arizona, Georgia, St. Louis, or Kansas City.

It wasn't even a very expensive one. I think I probably bought it for $20 at Wal-mart or something.

Anyway, lately it's been really hit or miss. Not only the, "Oh come on, I can't seriously weigh that much!" but every time you would get on it you would get a different number within about 6 pounds.

Yes, I have had some seriously bad diet days, but there is just no way that either of us has gained 6 pounds in a day.

So last weekend, I threw it in the trash and went out to buy another one. It's time. We know we've both gained some weight and I thought maybe getting a more accurate scale might help get us moving the right direction.

I went out and bought the Weight Watcher scale that my friend Hector had and really liked; the fancy one that has the electrodes you can step on so in addition to your weight, it can tell you your BMI, % Body Fat, % Water, etc and it displays your weight to the tenth of a pound.

I thought that would be a nice way to actually see progress. A ten of a pound, is still a tenth of a pound, right?

So right off the bat, the husband was skeptical about it.

"How can it really determine all those things by just standing on it?"
"There's no way."
"I don't even want to know what it says."

I put it into the bathroom last Saturday. Rob would just look at it.

Finally, by Sunday night I think he was curious and so he got on it. He walks out of the bathroom and says, "Fuck that thing. There's no way. I don't even want to talk about it..... Fuck that thing."

As the week has gone on, the novelty has not worn off. It's neat and sleek looking. It calls you attention when you walk in there.. like it's taunting you.

By the way, I am horrified about how much my weight will fluctate during the day. I think I read somewhere that you are supposed to weigh yourself at the same time of day. Okay. I'll buy that, so I have picked the morning before I get in the shower. Seems fairly consistent so far.

Rob, however, walks through the bathroom and looks at it. Then just walks away. It's like a standoff now.

Monday evening, I heard him in the bathroom mumble, "OK"....then it gets all quiet and still.

Next thing I hear: ".....cocksucker..." walks out, shuts the door. "Fuck that thing."

Last night, "...fucker..."

Everytime I bring it up, same thing. "Fuck that thing."

It's taunting. It's like a game at the fair, you want to check it out and see what it will display. It has so far been quite a source of entertainment for me.

The whole existance of it, just pisses Rob off. It's like the thing personally offends him. It's hilarious.

Being Right

Typically, it's nice to be right. But most of the time, at least in my case, I am only right when I don't want to and it's always in a case where I get to suffer.

Most recent proof: This miserable fucking project I have been working on at work, the one with the late nights- I could see the writing on the wall weeks ago.

I warned the people driving the project, I suggested other alternatives (however they were they were not in accordance with the planned schedule), I warned the people doing it and said what might happen. Nobody cared.

Fine. Okay, right. Fine. Yeah, I am completely making all this shit up for kicks and giggles.

And in the end, we all ended up working stupid hours on a project that was doomed to fail and it did. At 4:25 pm (typical) I found out that the end result failed.

Duh.

I should be happy to be Right, but I am so not.

Because, we are all in this together and what this really boils down to, is that now all the pain, long hours, and frustration up to date is all for almost nothing.

The real pain has barely begun.

I can't wait.

Update: "I was prentemding to be gay!"

I love it when something surprises me. This defense I never saw coming.

So the gay Vatican Monsignor said he had met with the young man and pretended to talk about homosexuality "to better understand this mysterious and faraway world which, by the fault of a few people -- among them some priests -- is doing so much harm to the Church."

Points for creativity. Maybe Craig should have tried this defense.

Little Bit Of Each

Yesterday was actually quite a success. I managed to do a little bit of both: get some things done and spend a good amount time fucking off at the bar.

I got moving and ran a bunch of errands from my list and then ME called to go to the bar, she wanted to watch the Bama vs. Olde Miss game. As good as an excuse as any, so to the Ale House we went about 2:30pm.

After lunch and a few hours there, we headed to Champps (stopped an Nine West so I could buy the shoes I have been obsessing about) for a change of scenery. Drank more, picked up a few more people and next thing I know it was about 11pm.

I needed it. I feel much better now. Amazing what an attitude adjustment a good day of drinking can be. I actually feel like maybe I will get some things done today.

The Gay Vatican

Isn't that inconvenient?

Vactian Official Suspended Over Gay Sex Claims

A senior level monsignor was suspended after being caught on Italian TV hitting on a young man and asserting that gay sex is not sinful.

The Church really can't seem to keep its credibility out of the toilet for more than, what like 6 months at a time?

On the bright side, in accordance with Vatican Policy, once you have abstained from gay sex for a minimum period of 2 years you are no longer gay and can be a priest. So this guy's probably going to claim he's never had gay sex or that it's been more than 2 years and he's good to go.

I suspect the Vatican is going to completely downplay this. I think it's just interesting to watch them squirm.

Decisions

It's finally the weekend and by the grace of God I don't have to work.

What a miserable ass-kicking soul sucking week.

*sigh*

It's still early on Saturday morning, but I am having a hard time getting my mind around it actually being the weekend. I have a long list of shit I need to do and because of the way this past week's been I don't want to do any of it.

I want to do it and get shit off the list and if I don't it will bother me. But what I really want to do is spend the day in the bar. I missed two happy hours this week and I want them back.

Decisions, decisions.

The Dead Spots

I have never believed that the grass is greener on the other side. Like my title says, I think that the differences is that the dead spots are just in different places.

I have found this perspective to be true all of the time (to date anyway).

Most recently, my "other side" has been my new job and like any new job there's going to be the "every thing's great so far" type of honeymoon period.

I believe I am over that now.

It's been 2.5 months. At the previous location at the 2.5 month mark I had already updated my resume, constructed an exist strategy, and started counting the days.

Here, nothing so drastic. Not so far anyway. I did however have a flash of, "I wonder if they'd give my my old job back" it was fleeting.

Followed by "there's always consulting."

and "or trophy wife, my tan needs work."

I have also found in this case that one of the dead spots is in the same place as before. Different underlying reasons (i.e. dead spot in a different place) but the end result, me having to work stupid hours (same dead spot) is the same and I am pissed.

And just when I think I have seen the biggest and best fuckups and incompetent clowns in the industry, I come to find a completely new variable (ignorance, as in doesn't know any better) flavor of fuckups and incompetency.

Added level of difficulty.

Tomorrow's goal. Not call anyone an incompetent fuckup out loud.

The American Way

As always, I spoke too soon.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago, how there was nothing in the news even worth blogging about over the past few weeks.. and then today, I saw this:

Bush Refuses to Sign Wiretapping Bill Without Immunity Provision

This obviously goes under the "Of Course" category. But the reason why this is noteworthy is how all in one nice little bundle it defines the American Way.

Those who believe they are above the law (i.e. Decider et al.) convince big money companies (i.e. private communications companies via the corporate officers, etc.) that they should turn over any and all information about Joe Public (law abiding, tax paying American citizen) in the name of National Security (i.e. ILLEGAL) for purposes undisclosed (ILLEGAL).

When private communication companies get put under scrutiny for disclosing said information (ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES) those above the law, will return the favor so said company principles cannot be prosecuted for disclosure of (ILLEGAL) information.

Nice, isn't it? There's more!

When congressional activities begin to investigate information disclosure, political party affiliates of those above the law (GOP) will refuse to support legislation that holds such parties accountable for information disclosed (ILLEGAL). Lack of enough votes in Congress to actually hold people accountable for (ILLEGAL) disclosures will effectively allow all past activities (ILLEGAL) to be subject to immunity (NO ACCOUNTABILITY).

Then! This is my favorite part!

Communications company principles (who of course have a shit ton of money) use said money to support re-election campaigns for political affiliates (GOP) who assisted in the immunity deal.

The American Way. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?

A Sign

While The Joe Show was here this past weekend, I decided he should move here to Raleigh. Partially, because I miss hanging out with him on a regular basis and partly because I think he, like us, would really like it here.

I pestered him about it over the weekend, I'm working on winning him over.

Today, at lunch in the parking lot of the restaurant I saw this. I think it's a sign.

A Small Glimmer Of Sanity

Could it be? A slight glimmer of sanity?

I ranted a couple weeks ago about the Halloween Decorations being out in early September and I still think it's ridiculous. I just don't grasp why people feel like they have to pounce on the holidays months ahead of time.

And then, this afternoon, I saw this article:

Christmas in October? No Thanks, Shoppers Say

This article also did back me up on the getting earlier and earlier thing. According to the article, Christmas crap debut over a month earlier than last year.

*Sigh* thank god. Maybe there's hope for us yet. 3 MONTHS OF CHRISTMAS? I can't even fathom it.

Then of course, there's the irony of this not wasted on me: After I read this article today, while out walking the dogs this evening, I noticed a house in my subdivision that actually has their lighted, decorated Christmas tree up.

Date check? October 9.

Freak.

Called Out

No. I am not sick. Neither is Rob, we are just fine. Busy, but fine.

Jana just called me out of my non-blogging and I have to admit, I don't really have a good excuse.

I have gotten ridiculously busy at work the past couple weeks. Another great example, of how in a perfect world, someone else's lack of planning coupled with their complete incompetence should not constitute an emergency on my part. But as it seems, it actually does.

.. this is one of those dead spots I was talking about.

There doesn't look to be an end in sight, I believe I am looking at 12-14 hour days again towards the end of this week.

I can't wait.

Rob's been super busy too with his projects. He didn't even get home until after 9pm last night. Things aren't scheduled to really slow down either for him until roughly March.

The increase in stupidity and politics that I have been slogging just at work alone through these last couple weeks have taken a toll on not only my sense of humor but my jadedness. It seems lately everything just goes under the "Of Course" heading and doesn't even rate a mention.

The Decider vetoed the Children's Healthcare Bill: Shocking? Nope.

$220,000 fine for the chick sharing music online: given that the laws were written by people paid by the record industry that makes perfect sense. No surprise there.

Fred Thomson finally announced his candidacy for future Decider: Don't even care.

I think I saw a article about Ricky Williams petitioning to get back into the NFL, but I think that's the same story as the past couple years, someone just digs it out and reposts it in the fall.

Maybe I am missing all the good news or maybe there hasn't been anything worth actually giving a shit about.

I'll keep the faith and in the spirit of being called out, I'll get back on track here. Promise.

World Beer Festival

So once we actually found the place the beer festival was, we had a great time. We thought it was at the new Durham Bulls Stadium, but turns out it was actually had the old one. We eventually found it and were able to get in line before they opened the gates.

I am quite impressed with the turnout. I think that was the biggest, as far as most vendors I have ever seen. Lots of beers and brewers I have never heard of.

I was pretty impressed with Founders Brewing's Kentucky Breakfast Stout and King Brewing Company's Mocha Java Stout. I had a couple of other notable beers, but as the afternoon went on, it gets a little blurry.

Another successful drunken beer festival.

Wish you were here!