Bigger Pants

I am sure that I am not the only person who hears "Holiday Season" and instantly thinks "bigger pants."

We all talk about the nutritional battles of the holiday season. So much good food all around everyday for weeks. It's so hard to stay good... It's even harder to be good when you are a Holiday Hostage (i.e. trapped at a relatives house with no escape, distractions, or real means for exercise).

This is what the husband and I get to do every year. Sometimes twice a year, Thanksgiving and Christmas. By the time you make it through Thanksgiving it actually starts to feel futile to even try, you just give up.

We complain about gaining weight during the holidays, and the concept is completely understandable. However, I think I never really grasped how much weight you can actually gain in a short amount of time.

Until now.

I did once gain about 8-10 pounds during the holiday season three years ago, but that was when I had quit smoking and decided I wasn't going to fight anything except my smoking cravings until after the new year (so from the beginning of November through the end of December) and I dropped it all back off in less than 2 months.

I am now ashamed to admit, that I have actually set another record for myself. I managed to gain 5 pounds in the 5 days were were in Ohio.

Seriously, I got on the scale before we left and then when we got back. 5 Pounds.

Seriously, 5 pounds in 5 days.

I am lucky I was able to even shove my fat ass into any of my work pants once I got back. I thought I was going to have to wear sweats to work or go to a Wal-mart and buy buffet pants (the slacks with the elastic at the sides).

I have been back to my normal diet and back in the gym and I managed to drop off 3.5 pounds (probably mostly water/beer weight). So that's something. But dear god, 5 pounds. I think if someone had told me that I wouldn't have believed them. Now, I know.

I feel like that should be some kind of record. I did okay through Thanksgiving day, but the next day we headed up to the Grandparents house and that was where the wheels came off. Thank God we are staying home for Christmas, that's the only reason I have a fighting chance.

Otherwise, I'd probably be sitting here with a block of cheese and some cookies right now. Now that I am left alone and to my own devices, I am going to lose weight for the remainder of this holiday season- damn it.

Oh Ricky!

Say it isn't so!

After one game with only 6 carries, Ricky Williams is out for the season with a torn chest muscle.

Is that a record or something? Got to be. He didn't even have the chance to smoke himself out.

One Holiday Down

Well, I am back and I survived another Thanksgiving. Save the yam fire on Thanksgiving it was actually pretty uneventful. This could be because I am just getting used to the chaos now, who knows.

I had a great time, it was nice to see the family. Everyones good.

One thing- OMG, I am so sick of food and driving. Erk.

. It's probably going to take me a week to straighten out my stomach and a month to work off the excess ass. On the brightside, since we are staying put for Christmas, at least I feel like I have a fighting chance.

Rock Bottom Brewery Cleveland Ohio

Because I Am Crazy

I just got back from walking the dogs in a t-shirt and shorts. It's a fantastic Carolina day here- bright blue skies, sunny, and about 70 something.

A normal person might ask: so why am I getting ready to pack so we can drive 7 hours north the spend the next 4 and a half days in a place where the high is expected to be in the low 40's and they are predicting snow?

Counting Blessings

I got into work this morning and the first article I saw was about the start of the air travel catastrofuck that is getting out of Los Angeles for a holiday.

Hah hah hah. Have fun. Screw that.

Fighting your way to Burbank or LAX just to get into the travel cue on a holiday is bad enough, but flying back east from LA during the holidays is a purely unique experience of suckitude.

Just thinking about make my blood pressure go up and a deep urge for Jack Daniels wash over me.

So I am going to kick off this holiday season by being thankful that that is no longer me. I don't have to do that ever, ever, ever again.

Right after I saw the article, I realized something else that I am also incredibly thankful for. When I get back from Thanksgiving, I don't have to spend every second of every day that I am stuck at a job I hate having to listen to the same 10 Christmas carols piped over the facility speakers over and over again for the next solid month.

*Shutter*

Wasted.. That's My Update

I apologize for how long it has taken me to actually get around to writing about this, but it's just too damn entertaining to not post.

The Friday night that Rob and I got to Kingman, originally we had planned to meet The Joe Show there. However, he called earlier that day to say it was JC's birthday so he was going to stay in Phoenix to celebrate with him and that he planned to just get up at 6am the next morning to drive up to Kingman so we could still hit the golf course early.

Sounded like a plan.

That next morning I woke up to find a voicemail on my phone from Joe, timestamp 9:55pm local the night before. This was the best voicemail I have ever gotten. I wish I could find away to actually post the audio clip from my voicemail account (is there a way to do that?).

Here's the transcription:

Wurd........ Um...... Fuck...
God dammit........
I'm so fucking wasted at this point............ Um..
I'm hoping to get there at a decent time................ Fuck....
Fuck...Fuck... Fuck... Fuck...
This is not good...... Not good in terms of me getting there at a decent time..
Fuck..................
Anyway... Uh.. Yeah..........
Gimme a call when you get a chance......
Wasted... That's my update...
..Uh.. Yeah.. Okay.......
.............Bu-Bye...

High School Drama

Thanks to the Internet, High School Drama can follow us everywhere.

This morning, I found high school ridiculousness in my inbox.

A couple years ago, a friend from high school was killed in Iraq. I went back to the small town I was sentenced to finish high school in for his funeral about a week before our wedding.

I have stayed out of that town since I left. There are good people there, but I never got the whole small town mentality thing, so I never really got attached.

This happened a few months before my class reunion as well; prior to this I remember thinking there were only about 4-5 people in the class I would like to see if I go. Then I found out that one had just died. It wasn't that I didn't like people, it's just that I didn't like that many people enough to actually care.

One thing about Kendall, he was the guy who was nice to and friends with everyone, not a small feat in a tiny little backward town. He never got bogged down in the drama, never cared for it. He was always above it.

Which is why when I saw one of my old friends at the funeral (one which I had actually conversed with over email fairly recently) I was happy to see here and went over to greet her and her long time boyfriend.

She was like a totally different person. She was a complete bitch. Didn't see it coming, at all. Her being a bitch didn't offend me as much as that fact that she was being a bitch for no reason at the funeral of the one guy who didn't buy into that sorta crap- not in high school and certainly not now.

I have heard she'd recently had a hard time of it, relationship issues, family issues, etc. that she'd been bitter with people who's lives had turned out well. She was never a bitter person in high school, she was always a little quiet but all sunshine and fun. The change was dramatic.

Whatever. I don't give a damn why she was a bitch. I care that she was a bitch at his funeral.

This morning, I found a request from her to be added as a friend on my MySpace page. That stunned me. Did her brain fall out? WTF? I am assuming something major has changed with her and she took stock in her life and is reconnecting with people. Good for her. Too late for me.

I realize this is all very juvenile, but that's the beauty of the Internet and the block/deny function.

Travesty

Dear God! This can't be? Are they totally mad?

Vintage Jack Daniel's To Be Poured Out

2,400 of bottles of Jack, some almost 100 years old, are slated to be poured down the drain because authorities suspect they were being sold without a license.

Authorities are trying to determine where they came from and if maybe some of them were actually stolen. One of the bottles is unsealed with a 1914 date.

Unfuckingbelievable.

What kinds of insanity is this? Fine. Throw the guy in jail, but dear God don't pour it out! Put it on eBay and give the proceeds to the state education system or something.

AARRGGH!

Guess Who's Back!?!

Ricky Williams Reinstated

Whoo hoo!

So how long 'til he smokes himself back out?

Wine & Sunshine

Another fantastic example of Breaking News: Common Sense

A Little Wine, Sunlight Help Boost Women's Health

There's nothing that makes me happier than wine (or beer, or Jack) and sunshine. I guess at least we are finally getting some good health advice. Right on.

We should all take this as a health tip and plan on heading somewhere sunny to drink wine in late January to stay optimistic, driven, and productive.

Maybe this is my next job: Liquor Fairy's Sun & Booze Cruise.

This could be my calling.

Pictures of Kingman

I finally got around to downloading the pictures from my camera. It's been a while. I have been slacking, I know.

I added a link here to the album with out pictures from hanging out in Kingman for your viewing pleasure.

I think my favorite is the one of The Joe Show playing his ball from someone's yard across the street from the course.

It's Official

Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

FINE.

It's fall. It's almost winter. Fine. See? I said it.

There's no more hiding from it. No more ignoring it or refusing to talk about it.

Today we spent the entire day doing manual labor around the house getting ready for the winter and it sucked.

The thing I have been dreading the most, because it means there's no longer any hope of ignoring it has finally happened.

We closed the pool.

Suck. Suck. Suck.

Damn it.

Congress Overrides Deciders Veto

I'll be damned....

Congress finally managed to do something.

Not only that, they managed to all get together and agree on something in the people's best interest (as opposed to business interest) and override a Decider veto to boot!

It's about fucking time.

Almost Painless

We're back.

The trip back was pretty uneventful. On the way there and on the way back Rob and I both had our own rows to stretch out and sleep in. I wonder if Southwest knew there were open seats on the plane. Don't the airlines usually cancel flights that aren't completely full?

I got to remember to start planning our vacations from the middle of the week to the middle of the week. Way less cocksuckers.

Even in Vegas. It was busy during the week, the casinos and strip were busy, but you didn't have to wait for a table in a restaurant and you generally could find a table in the bar areas.

I think my liver has started regenerating again, so that's good. I ate all vegetables yesterday and no Jack Daniels, that threw the stomach for a loop.

Even the return to work wasn't that traumatic. Nothings really changed or got done while I was gone. Same shit, no surprises there. Today is Friday and the last work day of the week- hell yeah. I like these two-three day weeks before and after vacation thing too.

Too bad thanksgiving is less than 14 days away.

It's looming.

Makes eating all the vegetables almost futile doesn't it?

Triple 7s Brewery Downtown Las Vegas

After Dark

See the pics? Proof we were actually up after dark last night!

We spent a good portion of last night sitting in a bar at the Bellasio, drinking beer with some of the guys I worked with in Phoenix a million years ago. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I miss those guys.

Today is it for us. We are heading down for breakfast here shortly. Our flight leave this evening around 5:30pm. I thought by this point, that we would be done with Vegas and ready to get home.

I was wrong. I always underestimate how much I like to disappear here. This really beats the shit of out working too.

I am going to miss my post-breakfast Jack and Coke.

Old

Shit. I wish someone had told me. I guess I didn't realize it until now.

We are fucking OLD.

When did this happen? It's like it snuck up on me. ..

We've been back in Vegas now since Sunday evening, and both evenings so far (Sunday & Monday) we've been asleep by 10pm and up by like 6am.

The only part of this that makes me feel even a tiny bit better is that theoretically, our schedule follows east coast time. So that's something.

We've done some drinking, some gambling, some shopping, etc. But all and all, it's been pretty tame. There's been like no debauchery.

I have a conference this afternoon and two tomorrow (one at 9am-ish and one in the afternoon) and then it's to the aiport and back to NC for us.

I do think however, that I am going to be rolling into the conference with a drink. I might be old, but it IS still Vegas.

Viva Kingman!

We obviously made it into Las Vegas Thursday night. No worse for the wear. No bail required.

We got up Friday, had breakfast and started wandering around. Did some gambling and then decided to checkout and head over to Planet Hollywood and Bellasio. Shopped and gambled. Eventually, we extracted ourselves from the blackjack tables and headed towards Kingman, AZ.

Came down to Kingman Friday night late, hung out for a while and crashed early. The Sat plan was to hook up with the Joe Show and play some golf and drink some beer.

I got up Sat morning to find a drunken voicemail on my phone from Joe. It was the best voicemail ever. It consisted of a 2 minute ramble about being really drunk, sprinkled with some "oh fuck"s and ended with:

"Wasted.. That's my update."

We opted not to wait for Joe and we headed to the golf course. He showed up just in time for the back nine. Good time was had by all.

We had lunch and stopped by the grocery store to pick up some beer and stuff to grill today. I actually squealed with delight when I saw Fat Tire! OH how I have missed Fat Tire!!

Last night wrapped up with us drinking beer and watching football. I think that is probably what is going to happen today.

This evening sometime we're going to head back to Vegas.

Then its on.

Desert Quiet

I am sitting on the back porch at Song & Lesyle's in Kingman, Arizona. I have a 180 degree view of the desert and the moutains. It's beautiful.

So peaceful here. I miss the desert. I miss the space. I miss the moutains and the sand. I miss the sound of deset quiet.

Desert quiet is different that beach quiet or Carolina quite.

Beach quiet is the sound of birds, the wind, and the waves crashing.

It can be really quiet at our house and that quiet consists of the constant low hum of sounds from the trees, insects, birds, animals, etc. Peaceful yes, different.

Desert quiet is my favorite. Sitting in the desert and seeing for miles around and listening to the quiet is like instant Valium for me.

I feel in love with the desert on my first visit to New Mexico in 1999. I don't think my heart has ever quite left.

Sin City Brewing Co